Top 10 Boundaries Every Christian Couple Should Have
Matthew BellShare
In a world that often promotes self-indulgence and blurred lines in relationships, Christian couples are called to live set apart—honoring God, each other, and the sacredness of their union. One powerful way to do that is by establishing biblical boundaries. Boundaries are not barriers; they are protection zones that help love grow in truth, safety, and holiness.
Here are the Top 10 Boundaries Every Christian Couple Should Have, guided by the timeless truth of God’s Word (KJV) and rooted in love, discipline, and purpose.
1. Spiritual Boundaries: Keep Christ at the Center
Verse:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." – Matthew 6:33 (KJV)
Explanation:
Your relationship is strongest when Christ is the foundation. Couples should pray together, attend church, read Scripture, and make decisions with God at the center. If either partner becomes the center, idolatry can creep in. Seeking God together aligns your hearts in unity and purpose.
2. Physical Boundaries: Guard Against Sexual Temptation
Verse:
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." – 1 Corinthians 6:18 (KJV)
Explanation:
Before marriage, this boundary means abstaining from sexual activity. After marriage, it means guarding against lustful temptations or inappropriate intimacy with others. God’s design is for purity and oneness in marriage. Physical boundaries honor that design.
3. Emotional Boundaries: Don’t Replace God With Each Other
Verse:
"Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD." – Jeremiah 17:5 (KJV)
Explanation:
Relying too heavily on your partner emotionally can create soul ties that were never meant to exist before marriage—or even in marriage without balance. Each partner must first draw emotional strength from God, not from one another exclusively.
4. Time Boundaries: Protect Time for God and Purpose
Verse:
"Redeeming the time, because the days are evil." – Ephesians 5:16 (KJV)
Explanation:
Relationships can be time-consuming, especially when they're new. But Christian couples must ensure their time with God, work, family, and calling are not neglected. Boundaries around time help keep priorities straight and distractions at bay.
5. Social Boundaries: Be Accountable and Transparent
Verse:
"Abstain from all appearance of evil." – 1 Thessalonians 5:22 (KJV)
Explanation:
Being alone with the opposite sex, hiding conversations, or being secretive can invite temptation and suspicion. Couples should create social boundaries that promote trust and avoid compromise. Honor, not secrecy, should mark every relationship.
6. Conflict Boundaries: Speak with Love, Not Anger
Verse:
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:" – Ephesians 4:31 (KJV)
Explanation:
Disagreements are inevitable. But how you handle them matters. Commit to no yelling, no name-calling, and no silent treatment. Set a boundary to resolve conflicts prayerfully and with humility.
7. Financial Boundaries: Be United and Wise
Verse:
"For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?" – Luke 14:28 (KJV)
Explanation:
Couples—whether dating, engaged, or married—should have clear expectations around spending, saving, tithing, and debt. Financial honesty and unity prevent future disputes and encourage stewardship.
8. Communication Boundaries: Speak Life, Not Death
Verse:
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." – Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)
Explanation:
Words shape the atmosphere of a relationship. Set a boundary that includes no sarcasm, no manipulation, no tearing down. Speak affirmations, truth, and encouragement even in difficult conversations.
9. Family Boundaries: Create Healthy Separation
Verse:
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." – Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
Explanation:
Families are a blessing, but they should never interfere in your relationship or marriage decisions. Creating healthy boundaries with in-laws and extended family helps protect your union and promotes mutual respect.
10. Purpose Boundaries: Walk in God’s Calling Together
Verse:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" – Amos 3:3 (KJV)
Explanation:
Every couple should have a shared purpose rooted in God’s calling. Agree to support each other’s ministries, dreams, and assignments. Don’t distract or pull each other away from your God-given destinies—push one another forward.
Why Boundaries Matter in Christian Relationships
Biblical boundaries aren’t meant to restrict love—they’re designed to protect it, nurture it, and align it with God’s will. A relationship without boundaries is like a city without walls (Proverbs 25:28). Vulnerable to attack. But with God-centered boundaries, couples can grow in trust, purity, strength, and unity.
